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Why Does God Seem Absent when We Need Him Most?
I was lying on my couch with one forearm covering my eyes, and only the flicker of my advent candles to light up the room. My emotional pain was so deep I thought surely God would show up. You know, one of those moments where God parts your personal Red Sea of Hell! And yet,…
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When You Feel that Death is A Better Option
I had always been highly anxious on airplanes, and especially upon takeoff. However, on this day I was unusually calm. We were taxing down the runaway, and I had zero anxiety. And then there was the pause, I pictured the pilots fist bumping each other before getting one of their dopamine rushes for the day.…
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Does Your Life Feel Chaotic?
There I was once again feeling like I was living in chaos. My bills were paid, finances were good, but everything else felt completely out of my control. It was like I was standing in the middle of a tornado as debri flew through the air, and there was no where for me to find…
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Stop Trying to Hold on when The Universe is Screaming, Let Go!
As I ran today the sleet and snow were peppering my face reminding me I should have gone with a ball cap instead of the beanie. As I often do I listen to an audio book, podcast, or one of my favorite teachers. Today I was listening to an incredible message by Andy Stanley, and…
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For Those Who are Lonely
He took a deep breath, made sure his sandals were ready for the journey, and headed toward a small town called Bethany. There would be no party, turning water into wine, or laughter on this journey. He would walk a great distance to visit a group of people who were in mourning. During his journey…
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Do You Feel Broken?
I was speaking to a beautiful and strong friend last night who has recently gone trough a difficult breakup. She loved him dearly and he told her that he loved her as well, and yet one day he walked away. And she said three words to me with a deep sadness in her voice. As…
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Finding Peace and Hope in The Pain: Better Days Coming
It was the beginning of winter in Westport, Washington, and I was sitting (along with a date) in my car on the beach. The wind was literally making the car sway back and forth as the rain pounded the roof. I was just about to start the car and go find a warm pub when…
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What Part Does God Play in Your Pain?
It was a typical Sunday morning in our church in Fort Worth, Texas. I was standing in front of the congregation dressed in my blue jeans and T-shirt with a tie dye cross on it. I was trying to be one of the cool pastors. You know, the ones who hang out at coffee shops,…
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Tony Russell 