A Pastor’s Unconditional Love and Grace

Some called him Pastor Mitchell, and others simply called him by his first name, Millard.  As we left church on Sundays, my mother would put her hand on his arm, call him pastor, and thank him for a wonderful message.  My dad slapped him on the back with, “Another good one pastor!” The rest of the week, they called him Millard, because he and his wife Emma were close friends. But, it was me who had the inside info! I had a front row seat to observe this man of God, because I was best friends with his son, Kevin. You know the true integrity of a pastor by how he cares for his family when no one is looking.

If I had a biological brother, I don’t think I would love him any more than I do Kevin. In fact, he and his 3 sisters feel like family. And they would all agree when I say this. If there was ever a child used to test their parent and shepherd of a flock…it was Kevin!

There were moments that I was sure Millard would denounce Jesus, and then send Kevin to meet Him! And yet, he showed grace. He had a unique gift. He could rain down heavenly condemnation while still making Kevin feel unconditionally loved and accepted. It was no surprise when Kevin said to me (just last week), “He is the greatest man I’ve ever known.” There is a phrase that comes to mind, “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” I not only saw this exercised in Kevin’s life, but in my own as well.

My Favorite Sermon

The greatest sermon Millard ever preached to me was not in a church. It was in my office around 1995. I had a small business in Dunbar, West Virginia. One day I heard a car door shut in the parking lot. We were not open at that moment, so I glanced out the window. A hot flash of anxiety surged though my body as I saw Pastor Mitchell getting out of his car. Yes, this was not a Millard visit, this was a Pastor Mitchell visit! I knew that because I had just filed for divorce. At that time, most Baptist churches viewed a divorcee as one small step above a serial killer. It was my day of reckoning! He was a skinny man on the move, so I knew I had to think fast.

I was standing in the middle of the small building, there were only two ways in…the front door to my left and the back door to my right. I had to guess quickly which one he would go to first, because I planned to lock it, sprint to lock the other door, and then hide!

I pulled the shade closed. I shut off the light. And I began my race walk down the hallway toward the front door.  I had guessed incorrectly! For the first time in my life, I saw a God ordained teleportation as he was instantly coming through the door. Seventeen curse words collided in my head as I smiled spiritually and said, “What a pleasant surprise!”  He also shot back a smile. One I had seen many times with his own kids. The shepherd had found the sheep who had gone astray.  I suddenly remembered an illustration from one of his sermons. It was about a shepherd who would break the leg of one of his sheep, because it did not stop running away.    

We spent some time catching up before transitioning to what was on his heart and mind. He began with, “Tony, I think of you as one of my kids. I remember standing next to your mother’s hospital bed after you were born.  We all held hands and I prayed over you.”  He was being kind, but in my mind I had become the woman by the well. A whore who needed to change their ways!

I assumed he was about to shine a spotlight on all my transgressions!  I felt like he had earned the right. “I am here because I love you, and I want what is best for you,” he said with sincerity. He then conveyed what we both knew I recognized, “You don’t have a biblical reason for getting a divorce.” As he continued to speak with love, direction, and insight…I waited for the interrogation. I also expected some scripture to drive home his point. But it never happened. He listened to what I had to say. Then he asked to pray with me.  Maybe he would sneak a jab or two in through the prayer.  You know pastors, they can’t stop the sermon, even when they talk to Jesus!  No, he just said a heartfelt prayer, ended with amen, and then stood up. 

Other than my father, I had never felt that level of love from another man. And that was punctuated with a hug. He said, “If you ever need me, any time of day or night, just call.  I’ll be praying for you.”  I don’t usually believe people when they say they’ll be praying for me. But I knew, that evening before bed…he and Emma would pray for me. 

Walk The Walk

Today, the church and focus of many pastors is far removed from that of my youth. Millard (unlike myself when I was a pastor) did not strive to be cool. He wanted to change the culture with the love of Christ more than fit into it. He didn’t try to come up with creative titles for sermons. While I love a great worship band, we just had a piano. So, we simply sat down after two hymns and a prayer, and turned to a book in the Bible. The topic of money was addressed, but not a recurring theme.

Millard never lead an enormous church like his former roommate in Bible college, Jerry Falwell. He had the leadership abilities to make that happen, but it was never his focus. And that led to having the type of pastor who is now nearly extinct. One who focuses on the spiritual growth of those in attendance, rather than being consumed with growing the number of people who attend. He was a pastor whose talk on Sunday, would be illustrated by his walk Monday through Saturday. 

The Finish Line

Millard, at 89 years of age, seemed to choose the day he would go to heaven. It was August 31st. I’d like to think he chose that moment so that he could take Emma to my parent’s party! August 31st is their wedding anniversary, and they would have wanted him to say grace before dinner! I can hear mom saying, “That Millard says a beautiful prayer.”

Emma May Mitchell had been waiting on him since 2019. She was the love of his life. She was also a precious mother to not only her own children, but those of others. The women of our church viewed her as a sister and mentor. And we all watched as she demonstrated incredible strength and wisdom.

I choose to believe that as Millard was finishing his race, the street was lined with a cheering crowd. A crowd made up of the many who were touched by his ministry. As he nears the finish line, he spots his number one fan…Emma! Her arms wide open as he raises his in victory! He then breaks through the tape and hears, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”