Tony Russell

  • How to know You have Fallen for A Narcissist

    It is always interesting (as a former therapist and pastor) to be in therapy. It truly is proof that we can often help others, and not see our own issues. My therapist Tonia will often say something and I have a BFO! Yes, a BFO! It is what I call the blinding flash of the…

    Tonyrussell

  • The F Word May Be Your Biggest Problem

    I was sitting just close enough to the jetty in Westport, Washington so that a large wave would occasionally crash like thunder, and then provide a slight cool mist to fall down over me. It’s an incredible experience that is only understood by those of us who love the Pacific Northwest. You know, one of…

    Tonyrussell

  • When You Feel that Death is A Better Option

    I had always been highly anxious on airplanes, and especially upon takeoff. However, on this day I was unusually calm. We were taxing down the runaway, and I had zero anxiety. And then there was the pause, I pictured the pilots fist bumping each other before getting one of their dopamine rushes for the day.…

    Tonyrussell

  • Who is in Your Mirror?

    There I stood in front of the mirror at 16 years of age, and I could not see what everyone else seemed to be seeing. I stood there in only my gym shorts noticing every imperfection. I can picture that moment in my mind as if it happened yesterday. Everyone around me called me thin…

    Tonyrussell

  • Do You Feel Broken?

    I was speaking to a beautiful and strong friend last night who has recently gone trough a difficult breakup. She loved him dearly and he told her that he loved her as well, and yet one day he walked away. And she said three words to me with a deep sadness in her voice. As…

    Tonyrussell

  • Dating After Divorce: Hurting People…Hurt People

    It was the winter of 2017 and I was about to have my first real date since 1999. I was dressed in my Lucky brand jeans, V-neck tee, and wearing my Chucks! If I’d owned a Corvette then I would’ve been the poster child for a midlife crisis! I was standing just inside this cool…

    Tonyrussell

  • Shave My What?

    The title got ya didn’t it? Well stay with me and I’ll explain, but let me remind you that almost 24 hours prior to this moment I had sent up a prayer of desperation, “God, I can’t take anymore, I need your help.” And there I was in the same spot when I looked down…

    Tonyrussell

  • How I Went from Pastor to Fitz in The Morning

    I was standing outside of Evergreen Ford in Issaquah, Washington in January of 2017. It was dark as I shivered and looked up at the snow and rain streaking in front of the huge lights, and uttered a simple prayer. It was one of those heart felt prayers of desperation. A Hail Mary if you…

    Tonyrussell